I can’t sleep!
Guys…it’s 11:40 PM and I can’t sleep because my wheels are turning.
You see, I started reading The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines, and it’s impacting me more than I expected. I was feeling so inspired that I felt like I just needed to get out of bed and jot my thoughts down! But more on their book in my next post!
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2018 – A hard year
2018 was a really rough year for us. At the end of 2017 my hubby’s brother passed away. Doesn’t death have a way of rocking our worlds and just interrupting life? It seemed like the entire year was unpredictable, and lacking in routine or any kind of normal. It felt like I started the year thinking “Okay, soon we will have a set schedule; soon we will fall into a routine that will make sense for our family and then I’ll be able to spend time on my business.” So then that turned into a waiting game. Waiting for something that never came, and living through a year of craziness.
I honestly had a hard time this New Year’s Eve. While I’m usually excited for the New Year and being able to make changes, I started falling into a dark place in my thoughts and was dreading going into another year of the same lack of structure and the same chaos.
Will being more disciplined solve my problems?
I kept telling myself that if I could’ve been more disciplined things would’ve been better. But then I felt so discouraged that all my attempts at doing so would be short lived, causing me to feel even more defeated. Despite all my failed attempts, I knew I needed to do something. I wanted my 2019 word to be discipline (even though I had never picked a word of the year before).
My focus word for 2019!
Then Jami Balmet (from the Young Wife’s Guide) posted an Instagram post that caught my eye. She mentioned she had also made a podcast on her word for 2019, so I immediately checked it out. On it she said that she had also wanted to choose the word discipline, but instead went with faithfulness, and I am adopting that as my word too!
I don’t remember if this was her exact reasoning, but my take away was that being more disciplined seems to put all the pressure on me. And I obviously wasn’t doing a good job at it anyways! But faithfulness is different; it encompasses the word discipline in that you need to keep doing what you need to do, and doing so faithfully. But, it’s also relying on God and trusting in Him and His faithfulness. I need to put forth effort and do what I’m called to… diligently, faithfully, and joyfully, BUT…and this is key…wherever I lack, God is enough. He will always show up. Even if things don’t go the way I want them to, He is FAITHFUL!
Maybe I need to break down this word more and figure out how exactly I’m going to apply this to my life, but for now I’m happy with just chewing and meditating on it.
What is your 2019 focus word? You can even come up with one on the spot now! Share your thoughts and comments below! 🙂